DC Relaunch: The Bat-Network

If all the pals of Batman had their own searchlight signals, the skies over Gotham would look like Vegas!

Batwing by Judd Winnick and Ben Oliver

TF: I’m glad later press releases narrowed this down to a fictional city in the Congo rather than “The Batman of Africa.” I hear that place is pretty big.

DM: I don’t give a shit. The “Press” can kiss my ass for pretending they care if Africa is a big or small place at all. In one fucking month, Batman can have his ass in Gotham, Metropolis, Vegas, Spain, Mexico, Japan and the god damn moon. This Batwing guy has a fictional city because if he didn’t, he’s have a hovering base over Mt. Kilimanjaro and would get everywhere in Africa by teleporting and would solve it’s problems in a year, making Bruce Wayne look like a waspish slacker. Fuck the “Press”.

TF: I know there’s only one writer I’d trust with the “hovering over Kilimanjaro” angle. But unfortunately Bob Haney is dead.

DM: Wait! Morrison put his Ultramarines there didn’t he? Then Grodd ate them. Black folks forgot to get angry and complain. So did vegetarians.

Red Hood and the Outlaws by Scott Lobdell and Kenneth Rocafort

TF: Wow, you can’t swing a dead cat in here without hitting an angry sidekick--oh sorry, Speedy.

DM: Well I think this is meant to have that WildStorm like feel. It’s the only reason you include Starfire. I Can see Red Arrow hanging out with Red Hood but there are other angry also ran side kicks they could use, right?

TF: Absolutely. All-new, all-deadly versions of Wing, Dan the Dyna-Mite, and Little Boy Blue.

DM: If the JSA still existed, I know they’d use Ted Grant’s Wildcat kid. If this were a WildStom title we’d just be missing some feral cat dude with claws and a killer robot-demon. Technically maybe that’s Starfire, who also gets to be the hot, angry, space babe. She’ll have a katana to use by issue #7.

TF: Doesn’t Lobdell have the Teen Titans also?

DM: Yeah. Cross that bridge when you need to set it on fire with me in a few days.


Nightwing by Kyle Higgins and Eddie Barrows

TF: Take 2 steps back, Dick Grayson!

DM: Sigh...To be honest we all knew it was coming. The online casual readership doesn’t know fuck all about there being 2 Batmen running around. It’s just confusing to them. He goes back to being Nightwing. At least they didn’t kill him after making him one of the best characters of the last 10 years. I’m looking at you Marvel.

TF: I know, I can’t believe Marvel killed the Sentry either.

DM: Well...or Ares, the guy who killed the Sentry for that matter...


Batgirl by Gail Simone and Adrian Syaf

TF: Barbara Gordon walking again can only mean one thing: DC finally figured out they can kill Stephanie Brown a second time!

DM: No they haven’t. They don’t need anymore hate mail from the very audience they want to draw back to comics...wait...DC isn’t trying to draw girls who started reading comics Circa Y: The Last Man #1, back to comics. They are trying to attract a crowd that’s 18 - 35...which would be too young to have remembered the last time Barbara Gordon was Batgirl. Honestly, if you told anyone that the Joker had a) killed a Robin and b) crippled a Batgirl, they’d have to wonder why Batman a) didn’t just throw him in front of a train...accidentally and b) why he bothered with plucky teenagers.

TF: I’ve seen people ask you that question. You hurl a copy of Brat Pack at them.

DM: I will say this to all the people who think Oracle was the best character ever and her disability had nothing to do with why you liked her so much because you really were just into the character because she was so strong. Thank you in advance for continuing to support Gail Simone as a writer and Barbara Gordon as a character. Remember, Damian’s back was fixed in an issue after the Joker crippled him.

TF: If comics were supposed to make sense Bruce would remember where he put Shondra Kinsolving and SHE could cure Oracle.

DM: Barbara is smart and strong as shit. She can just acquire a suit that helps her physically and with her computer stuff. There. She’s then like bad ass super connected Oracle AND she’s in the field doing what she loved best, kicking ass just like everyone else. People with all sorts of disabilities, who buy comics, should be damn proud to be a fan of hers.

Catwoman by Judd Winnick and Guillem March

DM: I’m not sure what has to happen but I can’t think of anything that makes me want to buy a Catwoman comic when it lacks the names Brubaker or Cooke.

TF: I’m a little surprised the 90s Time Machine didn’t come back with Jim Balent.



Birds of Prey by Duane Swierczynski and Jesus Saiz

TF: I guess we can forget all the sociopathic killing stuff Poison Ivy used to do here in The New DC. What have we got here...Black Canary, Mecha-Katana I guess, and...is that Amazon Grace with the tattoo sleeve?

DM: I think so but we may have to wait til the book ships for confirmation. I like the lineup. It’s what I always liked about the Birds. One day a bunch of Kick Ass DC Chicks get together and have Tom Clancy like fun. What’s not to like?

TF: You know, it’s been more than 10 years since the last revamp of Black Orchid. Somehow nobody ever thought to put her in Birds of Prey?

DM: I see, you’re gonna treat this like Girl Thunderbolts right off the bat?

TF: But disguise is her thing!

DM: No one in BoP needs a disguise. They need to be themselves and crash through skylights. It’s missing Manhunter and Big Barda.

TF: Orchid’s a master of disguise AND she’s punched out Superman, so she’s better than those two combined. This isn’t rocket botany.

DM: And turned into a race of plant people or something and she’s not going to be in this book. I’d rather see more people named after birds and shit than some character the 70’s forgot that even Vertigo decided it was best to just let lay around. If you want Black Orchid, call Rick Veitch. He’ll writer her, it’ll be great, DC will get sued for something and she’ll go away again.

TF: I’m going to read this and imagine every background character is actually Black Orchid in disguise.

DM: No you aren’t. You want Black Orchid in a book you have no intention of reading just so you can declare that DC is doing it all wrong when they forget she punched out Superman. Because Orchids are Kryptonian Tough. Let it go. They’d be better off with Arrowette...Speedy...Red &Yellow Arrow Kid...or whatever her name would be once she graduates from “damaged sidekick” to “former damaged sidekick on borrowed time”.


Batwoman by those late people

TF: I stand corrected--I was also buying Rucka & Williams’ Batwoman. That said, I’m encouraged by the rumors at bleedingcool that she’s actually Black Orchid in disguise. (spoiler)

DM: You know there was only one issue of that right? This is where I see the bottleneck in DiDio claiming all books will ship on time.

TF: Well, Mr. Williams III has had an extra few months to get ready.

DM: He does comics on a schedule similar to the one Sid Vicious used for wrestling.

TF: JHWIII is active less often than Eclipso.

DM: JHWIII does comics on a schedule similar to the early acting career of Robert Downey Jr. But I assume sober.

DM: JHWIII has turned “Travis Charest” in to a verb.

TF: Fans, please contribute your ideas to Twitter, care of #JHWilliamsIsSoLate

DM: #JHWilliamsIsSoLate Christian Alamy has a shrine to him in his basement.

TF: #JHWilliamsIsSoLate He told Brian Bolland to slow it down.

DM: #JHWilliamsIsSoLate He was rejected as a fill in artist for Battle Chasers.

TF: #JHWilliamsIsSoLate He’s working on the box art for Duke Nukem Forever.

DM: #JHWilliamsIsSoLate His variant cover for Fell #10 was turned down.

TF: #JHWilliamsIsSoLate David Finch is making #JHWilliamsIsSoLate jokes.

DM: #JHWilliamsIsSoLate Alan Moore is mad iffy about letting him work on Big Numbers.

DM: #JHWilliamsIsSoLate Final Crisis still made sense when he started Batwoman #1

DM: #JHWilliamsIsSoLate DC scrapped plans for the Batwoman Forever series that would have shown what the 2nd issue would have been like if he were on time.

DC Relaunch: The Batbooks!

The Batman Titles:

Batman by Scott Snyder and Greg Capullo
Detective Comics by Tony Daniel
Batman and Robin by Peter Tomasi and Pat Gleason
Batman the Dark Knight by David Finch and Jay Fabok

DM: Aren’t you avoiding the bat books?

TF: Folks, I have to come clean here. In the past 12 months the only DC titles I’ve paid attention to have been T.H.U.N.D.E.R., Hex, and Whatever Grant Morrison Is Doing.

DM: Well then you missed you some good Batman issues. They took place in a book called Batman and Robin and they were not written or drawn by anyone named Tony. They were GREAT! Batman did some stuff in his other books too but..well, you know, it’s Batman. Grimace, grimace and stop a serial killer here and there. There was this other book, not included in the 52 relaunch titles where Batman issues an IPO for the company of Batman and makes a fuck ton of cash. He uses it to hire some guys who look like him in Africa, Japan and South America and even has this cat in France who’s into parkour!

DM: People are really unhappy that he hired the black dude though. Apparently he’s got too much territory to cover. No one seems to care that the Argentinian dude is missing a fucking costume altogether.

DM: Nothing we say about these books will matter. It’s Batman. This shit is already sold.

TF: I see they cranked up their 90s time machine and retrieved Greg Capullo.

DM: The 90’s time machine is real. DC is filled with thoughts of how Image changed the Industry. Like imagine what would have happened if the “Image 7” were given control of the creative direction and a share of the profits of the characters they worked on...while having none of the wisdom and business sense some (Jim Lee) have now?

TF: If the time machine brings back Sovereign 7 we must call for its destruction though, agreed?

DM: I don’t think that’s a concern. Somehow I think the relaunch has no room for creator owned shenanigans.

To Kevin Smith

To: Kevin Smith
Re: Batman The Widening Gyre

Stop.

WEDNESDAY COMICS Midterm Report

First off, thanks to all our customers and special guest star Ben Templesmith for making Third Coast Comics' first anniversary party a huge success!

But now, since DC's Wednesday Comics experiment is at the halfway point, I'm giving my midterm grades to the strips. Creators are judge on quality of story and effective use of the newspaper comics page format.

BATMAN (Azzarello & Risso): The 100 Bullets crew has done noir Batman before, and this is up to their usual high standards. They're making good use of the one-page format. This is the front page for a reason. A.

KAMANDI, LAST BOY ON EARTH (Gibbons & Sook): Leaving aside the fact that i've been a Kamandi fan since childhood, this strip is the highlight of the Wednesday. They've hit the Prince Valiant vibe perfectly in presentation and pacing, the art is gorgeous, and the story is clear and kickass. A+.

SUPERMAN (Arcudi & Bermejo): Oh dear. Well, Lee Bermejo's art is gorgeous as ever, and the color palette makes you feel like you're in a perpetual sunset. But have we learned nothing from some less than successful Superman runs (I'm looking at you J.M. DeMatteis and Joe Casey) and Superman Returns, NOBODY wants to see a mopey self-doubting Superman. D.

DEADMAN (Bullock, Heuck, Fletcher, & Stewart): The art's an acceptable Bruce Timm/Darwyn Cooke homage, but I'm at a loss as to why this strip exists. Deadman's way out of his element here. He works as a ghost walking between bodies and solving mysteries (you'll never convince me the creator of TV's Quantum Leap wasn't a Deadman fan). A reader who'd never seen this character before would be at a loss--spirit world? Rama Kushna? What seem to be mythological figures? This reads like it was a Hellboy story dusted off and rewritten with Deadman. D.

GREEN LANTERN (Busiek & Quinones): Kurt Busiek's not really capable of a bad story (ok, ok, the 80s Red Tornado miniseries notwithstanding) and Quinones does a lovely early sixties mod design style, but this thing moves at a snail's pace. Some weeks Green Lantern is barely seen suited up. Busiek's trying for a depth of story here that isn't really suited for one page a week. C-.

METAMORPHO (Gaiman & Allred): Ok, Neil Gaiman and Mike Allred are having a lot of fun with the format, and the jokes hit more than they miss. But when they do miss, they reveal a strip that's a little too in love with its own cleverness (e.g., the 'snakes n ladders' segment in week six. A solid B.

TEEN TITANS (Berganza & Galloway): I think it took until week six to get to the point of this, and I really didn't care what was going on in weeks one through five. Sean Galloway (character designer for Spectacular Spider-Man) has decent art skills, stylized but clear. But this story doesn't have much to recommend it. And really, Blue Beetle alternating between English and Spanish every few words? You know who did that? El Dorado on Superfriends. 'Nuff said. D.

STRANGE ADVENTURES WITH ADAM STRANGE (Pope): Like the Kamandi strip, Paul Pope is evoking an old-school classic strip (Flash Gordon) in his own style. Nicely paced, well drawn, and just a little bit tongue in cheek. A.

SUPERGIRL (Palmiotti & Conner): Amusing light story about the Girl of Steel and two Super-Pets and the art is well suited for it. This would be a baseline. A midle of the road grade. However, in week six, there's a guest appearance by Aquaman apparently as portrayed by Jeremy Piven, which I find hilarious. B+.

METAL MEN (Didio, Garcia Lopez, & Knowlan): I don't much care for Dan Didio's editorial decisions the past few years, but he's turning in a well paced story here, and Jose Luis Garcia Lopez's art is stunning as ever. This is a great use of the Metal Men, but loses a point for bringing up the human disguises the team used to wear in the early 70s. nobody wanted to remember that. A-.

WONDER WOMAN (Caldwell): Oh this is a mess. Ben Caldwell aims for the stars with a dense story not clearly told in the one-page format, daring layouts that are tough on the eyes, and coloring much too subtle for the printing method and newsprint paper stock to handle. None of this is working. F.

SGT. ROCK AND EASY COMPANY (Kubert & Kubert): Joe Kubert and his son Adam are legends in the field. The story and art are perfectly fine, but this is another strip that's moving too slow. The suspense and intrigue don't carry well from week to week. C-.

FLASH COMICS (Kerschl & Fletcher): Perfect use of the format! The two parallel strips are a great idea, and Flash's time travel plot is treading a fine line between comprehesible and confusing. All this and beautiful art pastiches of Mary Worth and Tarzan. A+.

THE DEMON AND CATWOMAN (Simonson & Stelfreeze): This is a teamup that came out of left field, and I'm not entirely sure it's giving a balanced exposure to both of its stars, but it is pretty entertaining. Unlike the Deadman strip, both characters are in their element, Catwoman flirting and stealing, and Etrigan leaping 20 feet in the air and speaking all Shakespearean. As a side note to anyone writing the Demon. If you can't do poetry, PLEASE don't have Etrigan speak in rhyme. There are very few writers who can pull this off, and most of them are named Alan Moore. See what Simonson is doing here? Flowery but not compelled to do a rhyming couplet in every speech balloon. Anyway, B+.

HAWKMAN (Baker): Does Kyle Baker hate Frank Miller? Judging from the first two pages of this I concluded the answer is yes. However, this strip looks great and has had some twists, turns, and an anything can happen feel to it. A-.

Another Step in the right direction

This week DC released the second issue of Batman: Battle for the Cowl and reading it, I was reminded of why it is I thought this three issue mini series had such potential. For years many of us have been reading comics and trying to find ways to continually identify with the characters that brought us to the dance.

It doesn’t matter if it was Superman’s quest for Truth and Justice or Spiderman’s embodiment of the “Everyman Hero” to Captain America’s Man out of Time or Batman’s mission to eliminate injustice making him an iconic creature of the night.

The classic comic book characters of the Silver Age of comics contained something either significantly tragic or stunningly brilliant that attracted people like myself when I got into comic collecting.

Then one day, and I can almost pin point the day, something changed and possibly not for the better. Part of it was publishers missing the boat on opportunities to have their characters evolve and some other part was that I evolved enough to want to really be able to accept and want change.

I cheered when Tony Stark was deemed too drunk to be an effective Iron Man, passing his armor to his loyal buddy, James Rohdes. I was thrilled when Hal Jordan moved on (I won’t discuss how so Jordan’s fans can sit on their hands and keep reading) and his ring was passed to a much more contemporary Kyle Raynor. My favorite evolution of a character may be undone soon but with Barry Allen’s death back in the 80’s, the mantle of Scarlet Speedster was passed on to his nephew, Wally West, the former Kid Flash.

The beauty of these changes for me was that the new players had a chance to not just fill big shoes but to walk in directions that more established characters like Stark, Jordan and West really couldn’t because of who they were and the era they represented (Hence the freak out of Jordan fans when he…well…nevermind all that).

Currently the big deal is that Bruce Wayne is dead (or just not around anymore) and Gotham needs a protector against the likes of that which has threatened it like evil clowns, reptiles, thieves, former DAs, acts of God, and bus loads of crazy people. FINALLY, his cowl will not only be picked up by Dick Grayson, the first Robin, but it looks like the mantle of Robin will be handed down to Damien, Wayne’s loose cannon of a son (long story).

Now I’m not really looking at this as just another costume change or something like that. I’m looking at this as a way to actually see Batman grow for a change. Grayson has long avoided the issue of someday becoming Batman but let’s face it. It’s his job to take over the family business and if this is done right, this can be some of the best comics work since Jack Knight reluctantly became Starman back in the 90’s. The reluctant heir to the thrown can be a great vehicle as long as there isn’t too much whining. It’s not like Grayson is a rookie or anything but no one can really what it’s like to be Batman until they’ve worn the suit and tried to do what Batman did. We’ll also have the benefit of watching Grayson grow into the role as opposed to reading Batman for the past 10 years and have the realization that no matter who or what the obstacle was, Batman was well prepared and all the stuff between preamble and conclusion is just a formality.

I’m hoping that I get a change that makes me feel like I felt when I no longer had to watch Pierce Brosnan’s 007 and could enjoy the flawed but deeply emotional and dangerous Daniel Craig’s 007.

If you want to read something else like it then I recommend the Current run of Captain America by Ed Brubaker, in which former sidekick Bucky Barnes is found to be alive, (again long story) and has now taken over for the assassinated Steve Rogers. Essentially you get a real sense of just how heavy that shield is when carried by Barnes, who has to overcome his own programming and a personal agenda that may at times get in the way or representing the same ideals Rogers did.

I still call these changes, steps in the right direction. If comics readership is getting older then it’s a safe bet that we have seen all we need to really see of whatever fit is the Silver Age was taking us on a tour of. If there is a younger comics audience to tap and indoctrinate then writers and publishers may need to find ways to make older concepts new and not just by changing the characters outfits and methods. We can see right through that. Sometimes the best thing to do is put someone else in the driver’s seat and let him take the wheel and keep it for a long time.

This isn’t really a new idea and it’s the way life is supposed to work anyway. You had your living at home for cheap and listening to the bullshit your parent tossed your way because you were living under their roof yadda yadda yadda right? Then you moved out, got some cool roommates, learned that they sucked and either were too neat or were pigs and moved out again, borrowing money from the bullshit parent to do it or working that extra gig for the cash to make rent or to pay those loans back.

Now you have you shit together (or close enough not to be like that sibling or friend from high school or college who still hasn’t leaned shit) and WOW, you may now even be a shit talking parent or are headed that way.

This is just how it goes for many of us and I’m still reading comics and wondering about how now that I don’t really need to see my own angst and rebellion reflected in my favorite characters, how can I see the growth that I notice in myself and my peers reflected in my favorite concepts?

Well I’ve been enjoying the hell out of watching Bucky Barnes go through it as Captain America and I’m hoping I get the same from Dick Grayson and crazy little Damien as Batman and Robin.

Anther greatest thing ever

If you're not watching BATMAN: THE BRAVE & THE BOLD, you've missed Batsy and Green Arrow doing their best Tango & Cash imitation, Red Tornado learning about Christmas, a jailbreak of 60's TV Bat-Villains, Grodd shooting Batman with an ape-ray, the origin of Plastic Man, Wildcat telling the Outsiders to get off his lawn, Guy Gardner being...Guy Gardner, and Blue Beetle worshipped by alien slime people.

This week on BATMAN: THE BRAVE & THE BOLD: Deadman! The Gentleman Ghost! KAMANDI!!!

Speaking of Batman and Kamandi--Now I take you to Chris' Invincible Super-Blog, and proof that Bob Haney was one of the greatest human beings in the history of the world.

Welcome to Bat-Con '55

The "Club of Heroes" welcomes you to Bat-Con '55!

Today's schedule:

9:00-10:00

Mimosa breakfast

10:00-11:00

Hair of the dog

11:00-12:00

Cultural stereotype gimmicks (panel: Paddy McDrinklots, The Masked Eskimo, and Dykefinger)

12:00-1:00

Liquid lunch

1:00-2:00

How to keep your pupils from showing through your mask

2:00-3:00

Kegger

3:00-4:00

Leg waxing (sidekicks only)

4:00-7:00

Happy hour

7:00-11:00

Brothel patrol

11:00-?

Beating the sh** out of everybody at Archer-Con '55

Holy Waste of Time, Batman

Hat tip: Polite Dissent




So basically they spent a week of R&D time in the Batcave making a special mummy-killing ray gun that wouldn't work. Mummies by definition being dead and all.

Batman's the smart one.