Wednesday, April 25, 2007

I blame Watchmen for this

Alam Moore fans hate comics and this guy does too. Is this any way to honor our fallen hero? Who will be our Moral Compass without Captain America in the world? Incidentally the next issue of Captain America should hit stands soon. You know he's dead right?

So yeah, in Watchmen, Post Modern Wonder Comics, Super dudes are all out killing folks for "the Man" and committing rape and lord knows what, instead of actually being fucking heroic but that's ok, because Rorschach was AWESOME!!!

Now we have this ass hat...

From the Smoking Gun:

APRIL 24--Meet Dr. Raymond Adamcik. The Florida man, dressed as Captain America and with a burrito stuffed in his tights, was arrested Saturday night for allegedly groping women at a Melbourne bar. Adamcik was part of a pub crawl in which participants wore costumes. While at the On Tap bar, Adamcik, 54, allegedly touched the genital areas of two women, according to a Melbourne Police Department report, a copy of which you'll find here. "Because there were so many cartoon characters in the bar at this time, all Captain Americas were asked to go outside for a possible identification," notes the report. One woman positively identified Adamcik as the superhero who groped her. While being booked, Adamcik asked to use the bathroom. It was then, police charge, that he attempted to flush marijuana, which apparently had been hidden in his blue tights. Adamcik was charged with battery, disorderly conduct, and pot possession. He was released after posting $2000 bail. Sadly, since the Melbourne P.D. was having camera problems, colors in Adamcik's mug shot were rendered poorly (he actually looks more like the Incredible Hulk). But Adamcik was later photographed at the Brevard County jail, where this clearer photo was snapped. (4 pages)

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Why I Hate Alan Moore

Ok, this is gonna have to be a multi-part series because as soon as one types the words "Hate" and "Alan Moore", one can feel the hate mail flowing from the very folks who make one want to make this post.

So yeah, Part One - Alan Moore Did a Good Thing

He wrote the Watchmen. That's it. And then apparently the world stopped turning.

Well in reality he wrote more than that and contrary to the belief his "Jonestown-esque" followers, typewriters around the world turned into rusted doorstops the day Watchmen was published.

Now don't get me wrong, Watchmen was wonderful. I love the characters. I love nine panel layout (Go Giffen!!!) and I love seeing iterations of some of my favorite characters. Now here's where it gets hinky. It wouldn't have been nearly as good if Moore had used the JSA. This is important.

All of that stuff that happened in Watchmen happened because Alan Moore was free to do whatever he wanted. He was free because he didn't use characters owned by anyone else and I am not even going to get into whether or not DC owns those characters because I really don't care.

I will get into the fact that some amazing stories were written about Super heroes before Watchmen but Moorites seem to want to talk as if they'd out grown stories such as the Avengers vs. Count Nefaria or the Avengers vs. Korvac or Walt Simonson's Thor or the Dark Phoenix Saga or even Moore's own work with Swamp Thing. They discount Grant Morrison's Doom Patrol and Animal Man as well as Neil Gaiman's Sandman.

If one were to make an argument that Watchmen was more complex, i'd have to agree. I'd give bonus points to anyone who made this argument and then told me that they read the Church and State run of Dave Sim's Cerebus AND the Death of Captain Marvel but I can't imagine that there are that many of you out there.

Here is my Alan Moore Truth:
Watchmen - Amazing
Swamp Thing Amazing and in the DCU
From Hell - Amazing

Everything else like League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Tom Strong, Promethea, Supreme, Wildcats (yes WildCats), was good to better than good but some of it was written in his sleep and NO, it was not all better than anything else being published at the time.

It's too soon in the series to go into Lost Girls but if you haven't read it and would like to, just grab some crayons and go rent some porn. Then re draw everything you saw with the crayons but instead of whover your porn is about, inject the plot to Truth about Cats and Dogs and make sure the characters are Tootie, Jan Brady and Sissy.

It'll be about the same if not better.

As I said, Alan Moore did good thing. He wroet a Post Modern Superhero story and the world could have used that. The issue for his fans seems to be that they aren't aware that we are now Post Post Modern.

Comics should be done and are now being done in most cases by people who love comics, and not so much by folks with issues with comics. Once you decide that you hate comics and just take exception to what's being published and every publisher breathing then just go to Hollywood. Any one of you have the talent to produce something at least as good as anything Alan Moore doesn't want to claim. As if he'd been writing Hamlet and then someone turned it into a Hugh Grant movie.

More later...

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Unambiguously Gay Duo

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On occasion, Superman has to go fight some crime in the Bottle City of Kandor. Of course, in this miniaturized Kryptonian capitol with its red sun lamps and high artificial gravity, he doesn't have any of his super-powers, so he does what any man in his situation would do.

*ring ring*

"Jimmy? It's your pal Superman!"


"How would you like to be shrunk to microscopic size and dress up like Batman and Robin?"

"WOULD I?!!!"

"You'll be Robin, of course."

"Aw, again?"

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Roscoe Lee Browne

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The video link at the top today is from the 80s cartoon "Visionaries." That's because Roscoe Lee Browne died recently. Millions knew him as The Other Butler on "Soap"--the one who replaced Benson. Thousands knew him as the Kingpin on the 90s Spider-Man cartoon show. But for me and dozens of Visionaries fans, he was the awesomeness that was Merklyn.

That guy did not f___ around. You wanted to recharge your magic hologram flagpoles or whatever, he was damn sure going to make you WORK for it.

As to why the third video link is a World of Warcraft rap...I can't help you. Sorry.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

M.O.D.O.K. has a posse

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It probably does need to be said that in there history of comics, there have been very few villians who invoke a sense of "cool" and "loyalty" amongst what could actually be called a "fanbase".

I don't mean villains like the Joker, who thanks to Alan Moore and Jack Nicholson, are now essentialy either remembered for one heinouse deed OR are characitures of themselves. I also don't meen guys like Magneto, who simply look cool posing with a helmet on and have essentially become the super villain equivalent of an evil Urban Legend. Wheverever you look, there he is. He's a dictator. He's the savior of his people. He's Dead! He's Alive! He has no name. He has a name, it's Eric. Does he not look like an Eric?. Wasn't he beheaded? Nah, he wasn't even in the country when that shit happened.

Then there are guys like M.O.D.O.K!!!

The Mental Organism Designed Only for Killing. Modok was made buy those bucket headed AIM guys. These dudes below:

Yeah so they made a MODOK guy and he's a HUGE head on a tiny body and he can't walk. He flys around on this killer weaponized toilet. He blast folks with some sort of ray from his giant Robin Williams-like forehead too. His major issue isn't even that stuff. The thing that he seems most obsessed with is making more MODOKS out of super heroes. So you fight him and if you lose or get caught in one of his big brained death traps, BAM! SpiDok or Captain AmeriDok or IronDok or MoonDok is what we are in for. That's just nasty.

At any rate, this is why guys like MODOK, Arnim Zola (later for him) and Batroc the Leaper (him too) are actually some of the coolest villains to ever punch Captain America in the schnozz. This is also all pre "Resistance is Futile" Borg stuff too. Just freakin cool!

Monday, April 9, 2007


I'd like to start with talking about a comic that is near and dear to my heart. That comic is Checkmate. Checkmate has a few things going for it in my opinion. If you want me to buy a comics then you need to have a few things covered:

1. Make it a team book.

I love team comics. Who doesn't. 12 heroes for the price of 1? Anyone could read Spiderman and his drama but wouldn't you rather read Spiderman moping but then having 11 of his friends kick ass until he gets a date?

Checkmate is a book about an organization of UN sactioned super guys who act as either spies or a first responce/counter terrorist unit.

2. Include some of my favorite characters

Like you want to read a team book full of dogs who couldn't carry the Global Guardians, Outsiders or the Sea Devils.

Checkmate has Mr. Terriffic, King Faraday, Amanda Waller, Count Vertigo, Fire and Alan Scott (the original Green Lantern). That's not bad. You get 2 JSAers, a Batman supporting character more interesting than Harvey Bullock, a cold hearted bitch who ran the Suicide Squade and 1 cool super villain in Count Vertigo.

3. The book has tro have a hook

Checkmate has a chess theme complete with Kings and Bishops and stuff. Even the Pawns are cool.

Buy it!!!

Post Number 1!!!

Whoo Hooo!!! This is the first post for the Official Blog of Third Coast Comics.

My name is Terry or Doc Midnight and I really don't care which you call me because Terry is cool and Doc Midnight can see in the dark, has a med degree and a pet owl.

The goal here is for me to post about what I think of the comics we come across and whatever else happens to be going on in the world of comics and pop culture.

Alright, consider this post in the books and lets see what we can get into.