Sunday, May 11, 2008
Questions for the Producers of the New G.I. Joe Movie
1. Um, yeah, that guy? Not exactly giving off a "Destro" vibe.
2. Heavy Duty? HEAVY DUTY?! Are you kidding me? I'm going to ask the same question kids across America asked when the character of Heavy Duty debuted back in 1991:
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO ROADBLOCK?
For those unfamiliar with the G.I. Joe roster, the post of heavy machine gun expert was filled by two enormous black men with shaved heads. You could tell them apart because Roadblock was the one with a personality and an interesting backstory and tremendous popularity among the fans, and Heavy Duty had NOTHING.
Never mind the uproar over rumors of the downplaying of the Joes' American-ness, the "international strike force headquartered in Switzerland" angle, and the casting of Marlon Wayans in an action movie. You sumbitches picked Heavy Duty over Roadblock, and I ain't havin' it.