DC Relaunch: The Batbooks!

The Batman Titles:

Batman by Scott Snyder and Greg Capullo
Detective Comics by Tony Daniel
Batman and Robin by Peter Tomasi and Pat Gleason
Batman the Dark Knight by David Finch and Jay Fabok

DM: Aren’t you avoiding the bat books?

TF: Folks, I have to come clean here. In the past 12 months the only DC titles I’ve paid attention to have been T.H.U.N.D.E.R., Hex, and Whatever Grant Morrison Is Doing.

DM: Well then you missed you some good Batman issues. They took place in a book called Batman and Robin and they were not written or drawn by anyone named Tony. They were GREAT! Batman did some stuff in his other books too but..well, you know, it’s Batman. Grimace, grimace and stop a serial killer here and there. There was this other book, not included in the 52 relaunch titles where Batman issues an IPO for the company of Batman and makes a fuck ton of cash. He uses it to hire some guys who look like him in Africa, Japan and South America and even has this cat in France who’s into parkour!

DM: People are really unhappy that he hired the black dude though. Apparently he’s got too much territory to cover. No one seems to care that the Argentinian dude is missing a fucking costume altogether.

DM: Nothing we say about these books will matter. It’s Batman. This shit is already sold.

TF: I see they cranked up their 90s time machine and retrieved Greg Capullo.

DM: The 90’s time machine is real. DC is filled with thoughts of how Image changed the Industry. Like imagine what would have happened if the “Image 7” were given control of the creative direction and a share of the profits of the characters they worked on...while having none of the wisdom and business sense some (Jim Lee) have now?

TF: If the time machine brings back Sovereign 7 we must call for its destruction though, agreed?

DM: I don’t think that’s a concern. Somehow I think the relaunch has no room for creator owned shenanigans.