The Once and Future Aquaman (I made most of that up)
by Geoff Johns and Ivan Reis
DM: OK, I’m all over a good Aquaman book and I haven’t been happy here since Peter David’s run. My only concern is that Geoff Johns has to work “Mordenkainen” levels of magic here.
TF: I assume he’ll follow the usual Geoff Johns strategy: If one thing is good, a hundred of that thing is better. I’m predicting the debut of Riverman, Pondman, Freshwaterlakeman, and the Puddler, leading to the crossover event of 2012, Splashdown.
DM: Yeah, there will have to be the decompressing (see what I did there) of whatever it means to be...Aquaman, I suppose BUT Johns has shown that he can take the worst ideas of the Silver Age and draw money. He’s like a great wrestling Booker. He’s not Paul Heyman but he might be someone better than that.
TF: He’s looking all angry on the cover, which tells me mistake #1 has already been made. Stop trying to make an angry asskicker out of Aquaman, DC. Nobody will ever believe it. You already have a ripoff of Namor called Black Adam, we don’t need another one.
DM: I disagree. DC has had success with angry Aquaman. Fans just don’t want him crying about his lack of living children. Folks accept that he’s mad. The alternative is a peaceful Aquaman and then you have to ask, “What the fuck is he so happy about?” When it comes down too it, Happy Arthur Curry makes folks think of the Super Friends. Angry Aquaman is one that can be supported. He just needs to be mad about shit he can also resolve. I’ll also say you have your rip offs backwards. Namor joining the X-Men is almost exactly a replay of Black Adam joining the JSA.
TF: He doesn’t need to be happy or shiny. He just needs to not be Namor. The guy’s wearing fluorescent orange. He’s a rescue worker to the world. Make him firefighting Dennis Leary Aquaman. THAT I could believe.
DM: Yeah but you wouldn’t buy that at all and no one would respect it. What you really want is that clown from Brave and the Bold and I don’t think that works in comics.
TF: That only worked because they ripped off Marvel’s Hercules instead of Marvel’s Namor.
TF: “DID I EVER TELL YOU OF THE TIME I ACTED LIKE MARVEL CHARACTERS, MY FRIENDS? I CALL IT ‘THE ADVENTURE OF THE TIME I ACTED LIKE MARVEL CHARACTERS’!”
DM: Thankfully Geoff Johns isn’t going to do that. He’s probably going to start with a solid cast of supporters (hopefully without Vulko) and then shows us how Curry’s brother, Ocean Master goes from being good to slipping down into evil. I’d buy a book where the King has to deal with some Game of Thrones like BS. I know if we see Riverman and Glacierman, this is all out the window. So far, DC is 3 for 3 on books I’m supporting BUT 2 of those are by Johns and one is by Azzarello. These are damn near can’t lose properties.
TF: I only have eyes for WW so far.
DM That’s fine. I’m pretty sure you hate teams and I know you hate amphibians.