Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Why I Hate Alan Moore
Ok, this is gonna have to be a multi-part series because as soon as one types the words "Hate" and "Alan Moore", one can feel the hate mail flowing from the very folks who make one want to make this post.
So yeah, Part One - Alan Moore Did a Good Thing
He wrote the Watchmen. That's it. And then apparently the world stopped turning.
Well in reality he wrote more than that and contrary to the belief his "Jonestown-esque" followers, typewriters around the world turned into rusted doorstops the day Watchmen was published.
Now don't get me wrong, Watchmen was wonderful. I love the characters. I love nine panel layout (Go Giffen!!!) and I love seeing iterations of some of my favorite characters. Now here's where it gets hinky. It wouldn't have been nearly as good if Moore had used the JSA. This is important.
All of that stuff that happened in Watchmen happened because Alan Moore was free to do whatever he wanted. He was free because he didn't use characters owned by anyone else and I am not even going to get into whether or not DC owns those characters because I really don't care.
I will get into the fact that some amazing stories were written about Super heroes before Watchmen but Moorites seem to want to talk as if they'd out grown stories such as the Avengers vs. Count Nefaria or the Avengers vs. Korvac or Walt Simonson's Thor or the Dark Phoenix Saga or even Moore's own work with Swamp Thing. They discount Grant Morrison's Doom Patrol and Animal Man as well as Neil Gaiman's Sandman.
If one were to make an argument that Watchmen was more complex, i'd have to agree. I'd give bonus points to anyone who made this argument and then told me that they read the Church and State run of Dave Sim's Cerebus AND the Death of Captain Marvel but I can't imagine that there are that many of you out there.
Here is my Alan Moore Truth:
Watchmen - Amazing
Swamp Thing Amazing and in the DCU
From Hell - Amazing
Everything else like League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Tom Strong, Promethea, Supreme, Wildcats (yes WildCats), was good to better than good but some of it was written in his sleep and NO, it was not all better than anything else being published at the time.
It's too soon in the series to go into Lost Girls but if you haven't read it and would like to, just grab some crayons and go rent some porn. Then re draw everything you saw with the crayons but instead of whover your porn is about, inject the plot to Truth about Cats and Dogs and make sure the characters are Tootie, Jan Brady and Sissy.
It'll be about the same if not better.
As I said, Alan Moore did good thing. He wroet a Post Modern Superhero story and the world could have used that. The issue for his fans seems to be that they aren't aware that we are now Post Post Modern.
Comics should be done and are now being done in most cases by people who love comics, and not so much by folks with issues with comics. Once you decide that you hate comics and just take exception to what's being published and every publisher breathing then just go to Hollywood. Any one of you have the talent to produce something at least as good as anything Alan Moore doesn't want to claim. As if he'd been writing Hamlet and then someone turned it into a Hugh Grant movie.